Rev 12:11 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
My Name is Melody Stefanson and I am here today because I believe abortion Kills babies and emotionally damages women. I was 16 when I became pregnant and had my first abortion. Scared and with no counselling I agreed with my parents that it was the right choice. I didn't even think of the fact that this Baby was had a beating heart at this point in my pregnancy. I believed that it was just a clump of tissue and hadn't even formed until 3 months; I can't believe how naive I was. There were no discussions of risks with the procedure or side effects and neither did my parents. Others convinced me that this was not a baby and I should take care of the problem. You see I think at that time it was so hard to live with the revelation of sexual promiscuity and be exposed to the public of a small town. So we took the easy way out. I remembered feeling so alone and desperate! My life was to be changed forever if I had this child, I really needed counselling! There was no talk in having the baby or putting it up for adoption to me, Although my parents told me later they were looking into a house for young mothers.. but I only new and chose one option, ABORTION, I thought it would be the easy way out.
About a month after my first abortion, I was so depressed and didn’t really care what happened to my body. The pain ran so deep. I had many different sexual relationships due to the need to be loved in some way, because my self esteem was so low. I started to drink to numb the pain inside and using drugs. I remember trying to sleep a lot because life was so much better in a dream. I ended up being involved in a steady relationship. I was on a low dose birth control pill and missed it so many times; this led to my second pregnancy. Spiritually I was empty, emotionally I was lost in depression. I told the father and he said it was up to me, my decision. Which left me overwhelmed and thinking he really doesn’t want a baby or care. So I drank more and did many drugs to forget the problem, not even considering the life I carried inside, because this was just a clump of tissue right!
I was three months when I finally told a family member that I was pregnant. We went to the doctor and told him I wanted another abortion. He didn’t show me any pictures of what this baby looked like at 12 weeks or didn’t send me to any counsellor. He sent me to a clinic in the states. We walked into the clinic and I was awake for the whole procedure. I heard the suction tube I seen them tear my baby piece by piece. It was horrible, but I just wanted to block it out. I ask the nurses what was in the jar and they told me just tissues. They sent me away and I was left empty again. I remember drinking so much that night I just wanted to forget the whole experience.
The Guilt and shame came again, Finally the emotion remorse came.. and in the same year as my abortion I intentionally got pregnant . So many women who experience multiple abortions try to cover their actions and justify themselves by having a baby. This is what I did.. but most relationships who have experienced abortion don’t last. This was the same for my story, I ended up having my baby and got married but divorced six months later. I was trapped in the cycle of Post abortion syndrome. I used abortion as a form of birth control.
My son was three years old when I had my third abortion, and had three abortions before I was 24. This was the most painful one of all. I was in extreme pain with the third abortion. I was alone and drove myself. I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was going to jump up on that table again. After the procedure I remember feeling so weak with heavy bleeding but I didn’t want to go back to the hospital. I felt such shame and guilt inside, I wasn’t going to face anyone who new what I did. I had to stay at a friends house because I couldn’t drive myself home an hour away.
I never talked about my experiences to anyone. When I went for a physical, I would lie about my health history, saying only one abortion or sometimes two but never three. Spiritually I was so empty so
I started searching through different religions and spiritual beliefs. I just wanted to feel whole and fill that void of shame and grief. Through years of searching, heartaches and tears I found a God who would forgive all that I have done and help to restore my character. He would set me free from the shame and heal my pain. When I became a believer he filled the void and gave me a purpose. I wrote a song for my three aborted children so that others could identify with my pain and story. So many regrets, a love letter to them filled with acknowledgement of their existence, and my actions of a choice not given to them.
Years later I saw Denise Mountenay on the miracle channel and she shared her personal testimony. It brought me to tears because I then new I wasn’t the only one feeling this regret and shame. I wept so hard that day and asked God to forgive me and make a way so that I could make a difference. So I sent Denise an email of my testimony because I new that I wanted to get involved and be a voice for my children. I believe healing comes in waves sometimes, to give us strength as needed at the time. Something inside happened to me that day, God gave me strength and courage to speak out about my experiences. To inform women of the truth, to help them heal and be restored, and to expose the lies about abortion. I know that I had a purpose in this life and that God had a purpose for my children. But they were killed before they had a chance.
There are no accidents- no unplanned pregnancies with God. There is a purpose and a plan for everyone. Who knows maybe one of my aborted children could have been a doctor for life or found the cure for cancer or maybe a missionary and helped feed the poor. God says that he can count the hairs on our head. We all have a unique DNA because he created us that way. He gave us a fingerprint at conception. A chemical instruction sheet that determines your looks, your talents, interests, intelligence, tastes and character. You have this blueprint as soon as you are conceived. I find this so amazing!
I still find myself morning my unborn children at times. I know the truth now. It still pains me to know that my children could feel and reach out while they were tore apart by a machine. All the vital organs were there with the baby I aborted at 12 weeks. They were all destroyed due to my ignorance and lack of knowledge and the need for a violent form of birth control so easily offered.
There is one thing that I could say to women who are choosing to Abort it is, DON’T do it! Get to know all the facts, get counsiling. Talk to women who have been through this experience. This is a life inside of you; this baby has a personal DNA as soon as it’s conceived. This baby has been thought of by God before it was even conceived! I know how much fear and confusion and panic you feel. I also know now that this is a Blessing to you, a Love and Joy of Motherhood a gift from God himself! Don’t throw away this gift. There are many other options please contact me or someone who can help!
Today 27 years later I have three wonderful Children,
Derek, Dezsarae and Naiomi.
I have stuggled sometimes looking at them and thinking they could have had three siblings, but they were distroyed..
I also have three regretfully aborted children
Daniel, Cherice and Tamara..
God bless you all.
Prov 31:8 8 Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.[a]
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Love and Blessings